


Murder To Some Degree

by rweoutofthewoods



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, I finally didn't name a fic after a song, I'll add more tags later, Lance (Voltron) Has Issues, M/M, Multi, Murder, and a looot of talk of murder, for like a short fic, klance, pretty slow burn, serious family issues, there's mentions of violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-18
Updated: 2019-06-18
Packaged: 2020-05-14 11:27:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19272340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rweoutofthewoods/pseuds/rweoutofthewoods
Summary: So here's the thing, Lance had a normal life. Y'know right up until he found out his brother was a murderer.Now he's left to deal with the aftermath of his brother's actions, as his life falls apart. But he doesn't know how to deal, so he runs.Runs right into an entirely new life.But who knows? Maybe the serious guy with the mullet will turn out to be the love of his life. Maybe the crazy old guy at the bookstore is right, and this is all going to work out.But probably not.





	Murder To Some Degree

So here’s the thing. Life rarely works out the way you think it will.

 

For example: I thought that after high school I’d go to University Of Altea, meet some cool people, go on some dates, maybe even get a girlfriend or boyfriend, eat a lot of ramen noodle cups, visit my family as often as I could, and eventually (with lots of tears and crazy nights cramming for finals) get my degree in education.

 

And by the summer before my junior year, it seemed like things were going to plan. At least the noodle cups and crazy nights cramming for finals bits were right on. But somehow in one split second, it all fell so hard off track.

 

See, it started like this.

 

I was at the zoo with my little niece on a hot afternoon in Altea, Florida. We were at the monkey enclosure when my phone rang. Seeing my mami’s contact I rolled my eyes assuming she was going to ask me to run some type of errand for her.

 

“Lance,” She said as I answered. Her voice was rough and cracked like she’d been crying.

 

I knew immediately that something was wrong “Mami? Are you okay?”

 

“Oh Lance, I- I need you to come home mijo, now.”

 

“I’m with Nadia at the zoo, what’s going on?”

 

“Something happened, I don’t want to tell you over the phone, just get over here quick.”

 

“What about Nadia? Luis and Amelia are both working, I can’t take her home.”

 

“Luis is here Lance,”

 

“He left work? Oh my gosh, mami what’s happening?”

 

“Come quick, I will tell you when you get here.” And with that, she hung up leaving me with shaking hands and a seven-year-old niece who was very excited about monkeys.

 

Honestly, I’m still not sure I managed to wrangle Nadia into the car and drive home. Nadia complained the whole way to my parents’ house about having to leave the zoo an “entire whole hour early” as she put it, while I was slightly panicking thinking up every possible scenario of what could have happened. I thought it was most likely that my Abuela had fallen ill again which scared the shit out of me. But as far as my imagination went I never once got close to what had actually happened.

 

When I pulled in front of my parents’ house I recognized not only Luis’s car but also Rachel and Veronica’s, my heart plummeted knowing it had to be serious if everyone was here. Well, everyone except Marco, but my twin was rarely anywhere when he was supposed to be so the lack of his car was not unusual. What _was_ unusual, however, was the silence as I entered the house. On any given day the Mclain household was bursting with noise, even now that all the kids were grown up and moved out there was always someone visiting whether that be one or my siblings, cousins, or grandparents. But now despite the many cars parked outside, the house was almost silent except for a few hushed voices coming from the leaving room.

 

Nadia tugged at my shirt her eyes scared “Tio, what’s happening?”

 

“I don’t know Nadia Bug, c’mon let’s go find out.” I took her little hand and led her into the living room.

I was met by a scene right out of my nightmares.

 

My mami was sitting on the couch twisting her wedding ring around her finger. My Papi was next to her rubbing her back, his eyes were red-rimmed like he’d been crying, as I got closer I realized that my grandparents looked like they’d been crying, and my siblings too. Even Rachel who was my eldest sibling and the strongest person I knew. I’d never seen her cry before, not even the time she broke her arm when she was thirteen. But now her mascara was smudged down her cheeks and her eyes were red.

 

My family turned to me as I walked in, Nadia let go of my hand running to her father who scooped her up.

 

“What’s going on?” I asked.

 

My family exchanged quick looks then my mami turned to Luis’s wife Amelia “Could you take Nadia outside while we talk to Lance?”

 

She nodded and extracted Nadia from Luis’s arms saying to her “C’mon let’s go play on the swing set.”

 

They headed for the back door and mami turned to me. “Mijo, you should sit down.”

 

I shook my head frustrated “No. Just tell me what the hell is going on!”

 

Mami and Papi exchanged a quick look and then she rose from the couch to stand in front of me taking my hands in hers. She took a deep breath and then said: “Marco has been arrested.”

 

I let out a shout of relieved laughter “Oh my god, really that’s it? I thought somebody had died the way you guys were acting. What did he do this time? Did he get caught stealing gum from The Dollar Tree again?”

 

My mother’s face crumbled and my amusement immediately faded “No, no Lance.” She shook her head “Marco killed Diana.”

 

I froze trying to process what she’d said. If it weren’t for the dead serious look on my family’s faces I’d think this was some kind of joke.

 

“What?” I croaked.

 

“She was cheating on him. When he found out he killed her.”

 

“When? Oh my god, when did this happen?”

 

“Last night. The neighbors heard her screaming and called the police but, it was too late.”

 

Despite the tremor in her voice Mami said everything firmly leaving no room for doubt. My brother had killed somebody, not just somebody, his girlfriend of five years.

 

“But I- I saw Marco and Diana yesterday! She was fine, they were fine. This can’t be real.”

 

“It is. I wish it wasn’t but it is.” She stepped forwards wrapping me in her arms.

 

The thing is there isn’t a whole lot I could change about the situation but if there was one thing I wish I could have done differently it was how I handled it. I wish I had stayed to support my family in their grief and let them support me. But instead, I ran. I wrenched myself out of my mother’s arms and tore out of the house. I heard Luis call my name as I left but my mami stopped him saying “Let him go, he needs time.” And so they did, and that was the last time I saw my family.

 

They called me every day at first but after a month of me never picking up the calls stopped except for the occasional one from my parents every few weeks. And I know it’s wrong of me, that my parents lost not just one but two sons that day because of me. But I couldn’t be a part of the aftermath, I couldn’t listen to hushed conversations about my brother’s sentence,  I couldn’t visit him in jail, I couldn’t hear my brother’s name spoken like a curse word. And maybe that makes me a coward, but it was different for me, Marco was my twin brother, my best friend since the day we were born, and Diana, I loved her too.

 

They started dating in high school but Diana had been a part of our lives since the first day of kindergarten when we played Power Rangers together during recess. She wasn’t just Marco’s girlfriend, she was one of my best friends. She was the one who brought me ice cream and held me as I cried during my first break up. She’s the one who introduced me to facemasks and let me ramble about nonsense for hours at a time when no one else wanted to listen. She helped me learn how to be comfortable as myself.

 

And the fact that my _own_ _brother_ had killed her, that was something I couldn’t cope with.

 

It’s been two months now since _it_ happened. School starts tomorrow, but I won’t be attending University Of Altea this fall. One of the first things I decided after leaving my parents’ house was that I wanted to transfer schools. I didn’t want to be in Altea anymore. And so that’s how I ended up across the country attending Garrison University in Castle Of Lions, California.  

 

My childhood friend Hunk goes to Garrison and lost his roommate this year so he invited me to room with him at his place. And that’s where I am now.

 

I lied on my new bed in my new room and stared at my phone. I needed to call my parents, I knew it. I never even told them I was transferring.

 

I took a deep breath and with some crazy stroke of courage, I hit call.

 

It rang for only a second before she picked up “Lance?” She asked like she didn’t dare to believe it.

 

“Hi, Mami,” I said weakly.

 

I expected her to lecture me on running off but she only let out a sad sigh “We’ve missed you mijo. We understand why you left but we wish you hadn’t. Are you coming home soon? I know classes at University Of Altea start soon but I hope you’ll make time for us.”

 

“Actually Mami that’s what I wanted to call you about.”

 

“What? Oh, Lance do not tell me you dropped out of school!”

 

“No, no! I didn’t drop out, I transferred.”

 

“You’re not at Altea anymore?”

 

“No, I transferred to another school, Garrison University.”

 

She fell silent on the other side of the phone for a moment. “Lance… I’ve heard of Garrison University, isn’t that where Hunk goes?”

 

“Yes…”

 

“Isn’t it in California?”

 

“I’m sorry Mami! But don’t worry I’ve got all the extra expenses covered.”

 

“You’re in California?”

 

“Yes,” I said weakly.

 

“That’s far.”

 

“I know, but I swear I’ll visit over the holidays.”

 

“Thanksgiving?”

 

“Um, probably not… but definitely for Christmas!” I said trying to fake a cheery voice.

 

“Lance…” My mother said and I knew I was about to get that lecture now.

 

Lucky me, Hunk chose the exact moment to come bursting into our apartment.

 

“Lance, I’m back and I brought groceries, could you help me unload?” He called down the hall.

 

“Um sorry Mami, I gotta go. Tell Papi I say hi!” I hung up before she could reply, my heart beating.

 

I sighed throwing my phone on my bed and headed down the hall to join Hunk in the kitchen.

 

“Hey,” I greeted him.

 

“Hey bro!” he smiled. “How are you settling in?”

 

I grabbed a jug of milk and headed towards the fridge “Good! This place is way nicer than the one I had at UoA.”

 

“Yeah, I got really lucky. My old roommate Shiro found it for us.”

 

“Why isn’t he your roommate anymore?”

 

“Oh, he moved in with his boyfriend. I thought I might have had to room with a stranger this year, but then you came along!”

 

“I did.” It came out darker than I intended and Hunk’s eyebrows shot up.

 

“Uh, no pressure or anything but are you ever going to tell me why you transferred?”

 

“I just didn’t Like UoA.” It actually wasn’t a lie. I didn’t like it much, I always felt like I had no real friends there.

 

“Really? So why didn’t you go to Olkarion Tech or Arus University, instead of moving across the country?”

 

“Well firstly Olkarion Tech is the kind of school you could have gone to if you’d wanted to stay near Altea. I’m an education major remember? I don’t to techy stuff. And Arus doesn’t accept transfers.”

 

“Well okay. But there’s still closer schools you could’ve gone to. Aren’t you going to miss your family? You guys were always so close, and I can’t imagine you living so far from Marco.”

 

I involuntarily stiffened, clenching my jaw. Hunk’s brow furrowed and he frowned.

 

“Lance?” Hunk said coming over to me and placing a hand on my shoulder. “Are you okay?”

 

“I’m- I don’t wanna talk about it okay?”

 

 “Okay, well I won’t push you on it, but if you ever need someone to talk to I’m here.” Hunk pulled me into a hug.

 

“Thanks, man,” I said as he released me.

 

“No problem.” He smiled warmly turning back to the groceries.

 

We unloaded in comfortable silence. As I put the last of the groceries away, Hunk collected the plastic bags for recycling. As he compiled them into one bag he turned to me.

 

“So, I don’t mean to spring this on you, I kind of forgot to mention it,” Hunk said “But some of my friends are supposed to be coming over for dinner tonight. I’d love for you to meet them, only if you’re comfortable of course.”

 

“Are you cooking?”

 

“Yeah!”

 

“Then absolutely, oh my god, do you know how long it’s been since I’ve had your amazing food?”

 

“Too long.” Hunk smiled.

 

“Too long!” I affirmed.

 

“Okay, well everyone will be here around seven, and I’ll probably start food around six if you’d like to help.”

 

“What are you making?”

 

“I was thinking like an artichoke grill cheese with my special tomato basil soup.”

 

“Yesss.”  My mouth was already watering at the thought. “I totally want to help.”

 

“Cool. We can chill until six though, wanna watch Netflix?”

 

“You read my mind bro.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 I was stirring the soup while Hunk flipped sandwiches when there was a knock at the door.

 

“Oh man, that’s probably Shiro, he’s always early for everything.”

 

“Your old roommate?”

 

“Yeah!”

 

Hunk maneuvered me over to the sandwiches “Don’t let these burn okay? I’ll go get the door.”

 

I nodded as Hunk took off towards the door. He was clearly very excited for me to meet his friends.

 

“Hey Hunk,” A tall broad-shouldered man smiled as Hunk swung open the door.

 

“Hi Shiro” He nodded a dark-skinned man beside Shiro. “And Adam. You guys know you don’t have to knock right? You used to live here Shiro.”

 

“I know, but I don’t anymore so barging in would be rude.”

 

Hunk snorted as he stepped back to let them inside “That never stopped the Holts.”

 

“Yeah well, we all know that Pidge and Matt have no class,” Adam said.

 

Hunk shrugged “That’s kind of rude,”

 

“But true,” Shiro said.

 

“Well… yeah.” Hunk shook his head and smiled. Then his eyes suddenly widened “Oh my gosh! Guys come meet Lance.”

 

He dragged them across the room to the kitchen where I was taking the last sandwich off the stove.

 

“Lance! This is Shiro and Adam, Shiro and Adam this is my new roommate and lifelong best friend Lance.”

 

“Nice to meet you.” Shiro smiled warmly.

 

“You too,” I said my mouth going a little dry.

 

There was no use denying it, Shiro was crazy hot. Sadly, he was also obviously taken.

 

The front door was suddenly thrown open as a small auburn haired teen threw themselves inside.

 

“Hey, Pidge.” Hunk waved as the kid slammed the door shut breathing heavily like she had been chased here.

 

Pidge help up a hand to Hunk pausing to catch her breath before darting into the kitchen where everybody else was gathered.

 

“Who’s this?” She asked pointing an accusing finger at me.

 

“This is my best friend Lance, he’s my new roommate.” Hunk said brightly, unfazed by Pidge’s entrance.

 

“Oh cool, hi Lance.”

 

She turned away before I even got the chance to reply. I turned eyebrows raised to Hunk.

 

“You get used to her.” He whispered.

 

Well okay then.

 

“Okay shoo guys, out of the kitchen it’s not big enough for everyone.” Hunk said pushing us out.

 

We filed into the living room per Hunk request. Everyone settled themselves down onto the couches.

 

“Is Keith coming?” Hunk called as we sat.

 

Shiro sighed “Who knows, he’s Keith. He might be on Mars right now for all I know.”

 

“Well, I’ll leave a plate for him in case he shows up.”

 

It was at this moment that the door once again was opened. This time a lot less dramatically than when Pidge came in. A woman with silver hair braided down her back floated through the door followed by a guy with dark long hair and a leather jacket.

 

“Speak of the devil,” Adam said.

 

“Hey, guys!” Hunk greeted.

 

“Hello Hunk,” The woman smiled pleasantly “And Shiro, Adam Pidge.” She made her way over to the couches “Oh and you must be Lance!” She said excitedly.

 

“Um yeah.”

 

“I’m Allura.”

 

As I shook her hand I was struck by how much reminded me of Diana. I swallowed the lump in my throat and offered her a smile. “Nice to meet you, I’m Lance but it seems you already know that.”

 

“Hunk talks about you a lot. Oh!” She turned to the guy behind her “And this is my best friend Keith.”

 

Keith didn’t smile or offer his hand to shake, instead, he just nodded at me pushing his hair back from his face.

 

As he did so I choked on the greeting I was about to give.

 

Keith was fucking gorgeous. Not in the loud perfect way that Allura or Shiro was. No, his features were sharp but subtle, with a perfect jaw, soft pink lips, and probably the prettiest eyes I’d ever seen. Oh my god, they were violet with soft shades of blue and grey. I had the sudden urge to get closer to see what other hues were hidden in them. I restrained myself.

 

I was _not_ looking for a relationship. Nobody needed to get caught up in my disaster of a life like that.

 

I took a step back and swallowed trying to gain my wits back. “Um, it’s nice to meet you, Keith.”

 

“Yeah.” He mumbled looking down at the ground awkwardly.

 

I didn’t see the looks that Hunk’s friends exchanged, or the words Shiro mouthed to Adam behind my back: _“What the heck?”_

“Okay, guys!” Hunk yelled from the kitchen “Dinner’s done!”

 

Everybody rushed to the table as Hunk passed out sandwiches and soup.

 

“So Lance,” Allura started once everybody had settled down and dug in “What brings you to Garrison University, you transferred from University Of Altea, yes?”

 

“Um yeah,” I shifted a little feeling uncomfortable “I uh, didn’t really like UoA.”

 

“Really? My father actually used to work there, it’s a remarkable school. Pretty hard to get into too.”

 

“Well yeah, it just wasn’t… right for me.”

 

“Oh well, I suppose that’s understandable.”

 

I nodded.

 

“Are you liking California?” Shiro asked.

 

“Um yeah, it’s nice. A lot less humid than Florida.”

 

Hunk laughed “That’s one of the things I don’t miss about home. That hellish humidity. I used to be pretty immune to it but since leaving whenever I come back to visit I just die.”

 

“Oh yeah, when you came to visit last Christmas you were suffering,” I said.

 

“I was. I felt like a tourist.” Suddenly Hunk’s eyes widened “Hey Lance now you can come with me when I go home for break! I won’t have to fly alone this Thanksgiving!” He said excitedly.

 

“Oh yeah,” I said trying to mimic his excitement but failing.

 

“What?” He asked his brow furrowing.

 

“Nothing, nothing. I just uh, won’t be going home for Thanksgiving.”

 

“What?” Hunk asked. “Why?”

 

“Um, can’t afford it?” It came out more like a question than a statement.

 

“I can pay for you. You know there’s no way I’d let you not see your family.”

 

“No.” as soon as the words left my mouth I knew I’d said it too sharply.

 

Hunks mouth fell open “Do you not want to see them? You love your family!”

 

“I know I do, I just don’t want to see them now…”

 

“But why?”

 

“Hunk, I don’t want to talk about it. You said you wouldn’t push me.”

 

“I- right. Sorry, Lance.”

 

I shook my head “it’s fine.”

 

There was a moment of awkward silence before Shiro broke it, jumping in with a story about Adam accidentally destroying an Ikea bookshelf in his attempt to put it together.

 

I stayed mostly quiet for the rest of the night, only joining the conversation when someone spoke directly to me. Everyone stayed away from asking me anything personal.

 

But on the plus side, I got to learn a little bit about Keith. He didn’t seem to talk much, but when he did join the conversations he talked so seriously that I was puzzled trying to figure out if he was being sarcastic or not. Surely someone couldn’t be that serious?

 

But something about Keith was enchanting. Though I honestly couldn’t tell you what. Certainly not his awful cropped jacket or his hair cut which on closer inspection I was pretty sure was a mullet. But still, there was _something._

 

As the night wore on I became restless. My hands twitching, and my breathing sharp.

 

“You alright Lance?” Hunk asked noticing my fidgeting.

 

“Uh yeah,” I said standing up suddenly. “I- I just need- I mean I’m gonna…” I weakly pointed towards the front door and bolted.

 

Just before the door slammed shut behind me I heard Keith ask: “What’s his damage?”

 

_What’s my damage?_

For a second I wanted to turn around and tell them everything. Just _dump_ it on them. Yeah, my twin brother murdered his girlfriend who was my lifelong best friend. No big deal! That’s just my _damage_.

 

For a moment the urge burned inside my chest, but then just as quickly as it had come the impulse faded.

 

Noooo. That was not a good idea. I wanted these people to be my friends.

 

So I took off down the street taking in the unfamiliar area. This was my new home after all so I might as well get to know it. I walked with no destination in mind, just taking in the buildings and my surroundings. The air was warm but in a crisp dry way that was a nice change after a lifetime of living in Florida. I waved my fingers through the air just to feel it on my skin and released a breath. I was in a new place, this was a fresh start and there was no way I was going to let what Marco had done ruin it. All I could do now was push forward.

 

And so push forward I did until I found myself in front of a small bookstore. Despite the late hour, the lights were on and an open sign hung on the window. I hesitated for a moment before pushing open the door. A bell welcomed me happily as I stepped inside.

 

“Hello!” A man greeted cheerily. “Welcome to Voltron: Books and Tea. How may I help you?”

 

“Uh…” I said taking in the cheery man in front of me. He was eccentric looking with ginger hair, a bright purple suit, and a handlebar mustache. “Um, are you always open this late?”

 

“Only when someone needs us to be.”

 

“Oh, is there going to be some kind of event, should I go?”

 

“No, absolutely not! You’re welcome to stay.” He smiled.

 

“But you said you were open for someone?”

 

“Well yes, we’re open for you, my boy!”

 

“For me?” I asked my eyebrows going up.

 

“Coran,” Another voice said “Don’t scare the boy,”

 

A tall man with dark skin and white hair emerged from the bookshelves. “He doesn’t mean specifically _you_. But people like you. Those who are lost and need a place to find themselves, or to get away. Tonight that person happened to be you.”

 

“Oh, okay.”

 

The white-haired man smiled “I’m Alfor I own this place.”

 

“And I’m Coran!”

 

“Oh uh, nice to meet you. I’m Lance.”

 

“And it’s a pleasure to meet you too Lance. Now, what brings you to my shop on such a night?”

 

“I dunno,” I said scratching the back of my neck awkwardly “I just kind of stumbled across it.”

 

“It must have been fate!” Coran said excitedly. “You were meant to find us!”

 

Alfor shot him an exasperated but fond look “Coran, contain yourself.” He shook his head “Sorry, Coran gets a little overexcited. He believes that everything happens because it’s supposed to.”

 

I frowned at his words. Everything happens because it’s supposed to? That’s an absurd notion. I couldn’t think of any reason that Marco was supposed to murder someone.

 

“You don’t share his belief I take it?” Alfor asked no doubt catching on to my expression.

 

“I don’t see how everything could happen for a reason. People die, I don’t think there’s any _divine_ reason for that. It’s just life, and life is fucked up.”

 

“Hm, maybe.”

 

“What do you believe that everything happens for a reason?”

 

“To an extent. I don’t have quite as much faith in the universe as my dear Coran does. I think often we can’t see the reasons. Sometimes hundreds of years have to pass before the effect of the events are visible. But the universe has a layout, it has it’s plans. Of course, it is ever so complicated and large, but everything happens the way it’s supposed to. And yes, sometimes the things that happen are awful and terrible. But someday it will bring about something good and wonderful that equals the bad.” 

 

Suddenly the impulse from earlier was back and I blurted out: “My twin brother is a murderer!” there was a moment of silence while the words sunk in “I just can’t see how there’s any reason for that.” I said in a whisper.

 

Alfor studied me his eyes sad “No. I’m sure you can’t. And I’m certainly not going to be the old fool who tries to tell you that you should. But I will advise you to be open to the plans of the universe. You don’t have to believe, just have a little bit of hope that good things will find you someday. A small dose of optimism can take you a long way. But for now, it seems you’ve kept this bottled up. Coran and I have open ears if you need to talk.”

 

“I-I just met you.”

 

“Yes.” Coran cut in “But you told us this secret despite that. Even though I’d guess you haven’t told many.”

 

“We won’t pressure you,” Alfor added, “But it seems to me that you need someone to talk to.”

 

“Um, well… okay, I guess.”

 

Alfor smiled. “Then come, sit. Do you like tea?”

 

“I do.” I nodded.

 

“Any specific kind?”

 

“Um, surprise me.”

 

Coran clapped his hands together “Oh and surprise you I will!”

 

He took off towards an area nestled in the back of the shop. With a counter and mismatched chairs and tables.

 

“Now,” Alfor said settling them down as Coran was off making tea. “Why don’t you tell me about your brother?”

 

“He’s a murderer.”

 

Alfor raised a white eyebrow “That’s all? There is nothing else to him besides the fact that he is a killer?”

 

“Well, no.”

 

“Then tell me about him, for real.”

 

I took a deep breath “His name is Marco. He’s my twin, my best friend for life, or he was supposed to be. He’s a troublemaker. When we were kids he was always playing pranks on everybody, and then when he got older he found other ways to make trouble. Breaking up couples, spreading rumors, committing petty crimes, like stealing gum from The Dollar Tree. It was all mostly harmless, just for fun. And sure I didn’t exactly approve but that was just Marco for you. He needed excitement, he liked the rush of it all. My family always said I was the emotional one because I’m a bit of a crier. But I always thought Marco was more emotional than me. His emotions control him, they’re so intense and rash. In the end, I guess that’s what ruined everything. His girlfriend was cheating on him and when he found out… _he killed her_.” My last words came out choked.

 

Sometime during the time I’d been speaking Coran had returned and there was now a steaming cup of tea in front of me.

 

“Drink” he urged “Tea heals the soul.”

 

I was skeptical about that but I took a sip anyway. As the hot liquid warmed my throat I thought that maybe there was a little truth to that. I did feel a bit better.

 

“So now that your brother has killed someone, how do you feel about him?” Alfor asked

 

“I hate him.” As I said it I knew it was true, “I trusted him and it turned out he was a monster. He ruined our lives. Mine and my families, and Diana his girlfriend’s family. The sick terrible thing he did left so many people devastated. And I loved Diana too! She was one of my best friends. And Marco killed her. I _hate_ him for it _._ Do you think that’s wrong to hate my own brother? Is it worse if I don’t hate him?”

 

“That’s a hard thing to grapple with.” Alfor said sadly “I’m not sure there’s a right answer there. But it’s okay if you hate him forever, and it’s okay if someday you don’t anymore. Everything you’re feeling is okay. You found out your brother wasn’t who you thought he was. It’s okay to feel anger. To feel betrayed.”

 

“You sound like you speak from experience.”

 

A distant looked crossed Alfor’s face “I knew a man once, his name was Zarkon. He wasn’t my brother but I loved him like one. He spent many years by my side but he did terrible things and I was left to deal with the consequences and ghosts he left behind. I believed him to be good and it devastated me when he was revealed to be a monster.” He lifted his head sharp ice blue eyes meeting mine “people don’t talk about it. Just how much one person’s terrible actions can affect so many people.”

 

“Do you hate him?” I asked quietly.

 

“No, not anymore. I will never forgive him, but I’ve come to terms with it. I had to accept that while he is a monster he was also my friend once, and I loved him. Once I did that it was easier to move on.”

 

“I’m not sure I could do that. I’d rather just erase Marco, pretend he never existed.”

 

“It seems easier, doesn’t it? But you can’t run forever my dear Lance. Your brother’s demons will catch up with you eventually. But do what you must. Your wounds are still fresh and sometimes the best thing to help heal them is a little time.”

 

“And tea!” Coran said making Alfor and Lance laugh.

 

“Of course, and tea.” He smiled “But also, a good book.”

 

He stood disappearing behind the bookshelves before returning a moment later holding a worn book.

 

“Here.” He said gently handing it to me.

 

“Um, I don’t have any money on me.”

 

“No, it’s a gift, along with the tea.” Alfor said kindly “We couldn’t let you leave Voltron: Books and Tea without both a book and tea. It just wouldn’t be right.”

 

“I- well okay.” I said examining the book, it was warm in my hand “The Legendary Tales of Voltron.” I read the title “Is your shop named after this story?”

 

“Something like that,” Alfor said his eyes twinkling.

 

“Okay…” I replied unsure what that meant exactly. “It’s late I should probably get going.”

 

“Yes indeed. I hope to see you around Lance.”

 

“Of course. Thanks for listening to me. I needed that.”

 

“That’s what Voltron is for my dear boy.” Coran said, “A place to put your heart when you need a rest from it.”

 

“I’m still not sure I believe all that divine stuff.”

 

Coran shrugged “Maybe not. But the universe believes in you. You’re special Lance, I’m sure you will find happiness one day.”

 

“Thanks, Coran. And you too Alfor.” With a wave a pushed open the door, the bell jingling like it was wishing me farewell.

 

I didn’t turn back as I set off down the street, the Voltron book clutched in my hand. It wasn’t because I was running but more because I didn’t feel like I had to. I was sure that I’d be back to that little shop.

 

And maybe Alfor was right, my past would catch up with me eventually, but tonight certainly wasn’t it.

~~~~

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so I've been working on for a few months now and I'm excited to share the first part with you.  
> It's like a vent fic for me because I relate quite a lot to Lance's situation (don't worry no one in my family killed anyone. But I did find out that someone wasn't who I thought they were.)
> 
> I just noticed how stories rarely deal with how these tragedies can affect the family of the criminal in the long term and it was something I wanted to focus on. Not the murder mystery, how it happened, or what led to it happening, I wanted to write a story that wasn't about the murder really. WHY Lance's brother did such a thing isn't the focus of the story, it's about how Lance and his family are affected by it and how they handle it. 
> 
> Anyways that's all please enjoy and check out some of my other fics if you're interested.


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